The Bachelor – Episode 3 Recap
Everything you thought you knew is wrong. Roses mean nothing. Shy girls aren’t shy. Snitches get rewarded. And, no matter who you’re dating, a country singer has probably already been there first.

Welcome to another week in Bach$#!@ Crazy Town.

The producers are evil geniuses. This week, they’ve not only pulled Americans away from their productive lives to engage in middle school drama – for the second week in a row – they’re spreading a new vernacular. That’s right, the franchise has initiated the final stage of its plan to turn the world all “1984” by changing our language itself.

And all this talk of tears, tube socks and take-backs has Hunter and Cush in rare form. So, put on your “linger-ee” and pull out the boxed wine because this episode is a complete “finasco.”

Here’s how our Rose-stradamus (see what we did there?) rankings have been affected based on last week’s predictions and this week’s eliminations:

To be fair, the Aalayah – (Uh-LAY-yuh? Ah-LIE-yuh? Uh-LEE-yuh? Can we get a definitive pronunciation?) – elimination threw everyone for a loop. But, spoiler alert: we know she’s coming back next week. So, it’s all lies anyway.

Here are our picks going into next week:

And, last but not least, the (ahem) embedded poll. Tell us, Bachelor Nation – who’s the real catch: Pilot Peter or Chase Rice?